What’s a lesson you’ve learned recently that shifted your perspective?

The lesson I have learned recently is that being independent can be a curse,  particularly at times that you need help in your life, because you have been hyper independent for so long that everybody assumes you always manage everything and are shocked when you admit you need help,  or ask for help.

I belong to Generation X, so it is always assumed that we are strongly independent and will never ask for help because we want to be seen as being capable and not needing support in anyway. Yes I am a generation X lady through and through,so I experience anxiety at the thought of asking for assistance in things I can’t do myself alone. I think I shocked my family recently because they see me as someone who just battles on in life and make do with what I have. The reality is that yes I am strongly independent,  but there will from time to time be things that I can’t do on my own related to my personal financial circumstances,  so I choose to just battle on and try to get by stretching my personal resources to the limit. I am a bit naive at times and tend to view everything through a glass half full perspective even though the reality can be a bit different to that.

This experience has taught me not to ask for support but to try and make do and mend and save as much as I can with my limited means. It has opened my eyes and made me see what a naive trusting person I am at times.

What do you do to improve your sleep?

To improve my sleep i take a little bit of valium to help me get to sleep and also I have a mug a warm milk with half a teaspoon of nutmeg in it. These tips combined generally work for me.

What’s the best way to deal with negative thoughts?

I find the best way to handle negative thoughts is to listen 🎶 to a playlist of music that I have deve to listen to drowning out negative thoughts.

The other thing I do is to practice mindfulness usually by slowly patting Lily and focusing on how soft and lovely she feels.

What do you love now, that you hated when you were younger?

Something that I love now that I hated as a child are olives 🫒. I really love the taste of olives 🫒 now, they are one of my favourite foods to snack on.  I would make a good little Italian or Greek girl because I love Mediterranean cuisine, antipasto,  olives 🫒,  salami,  cheeses dips etc. My pallete matured as I aged and I am quite the foodie.

What’s a time you followed your gut and it turned out to be exactly right?

There had been many times I followed my gut and it turned out to be exactly right, but some are too painful to write ✍️ about and resurrecting the past may be painful and unhealthy.

There is one time I can write ✍️ about now because I have well and truly dealt with it and it is a past I no longer cling too.

For the months leading up to the end of my marriage I sensed something was different about our marriage,  just little things my husband did, and often he would be away for a few hours without letting me know where he was.  My husband wasn’t the most emotionally intelligent of men and he made the mistake of bringing this woman home to meet me.  The very second she walked into our marital home i knew she was trouble.  She had the gall  to tell me that she was the important woman in my husbands life now, and that I had to take a back-seat to her. I was both mortified and horrified  and my instincts were screaming at me inside telling me to not put up with this woman’s and my husbands behaviour.  The marriage only lasted a few weeks more, I waited until I was 100% sure what was going on . My husband was shocked when I left.  I genuinely believe 🙏🏽 that he thought i would just stay and be treated like dirt, because in his mind that was what a good wife would do.

I trusted my instincts and left and never looked back. I would realise in a few months time I had really done the right thing for my emotional and mental well-being. Such is life.

What’s something you used to believe as a kid that seems ridiculous now?

When I was young I used to believe that relationships lasted forever 💔 so I was completely devastated when Spilt Enz announced their break up in 1984. I cried for days on end.

Little did i know that Neil Finn would form Crowded House and would become famous the world 🌎 over. I now see that ending was really a new beginning.  That’s how I view relationships ending these days,  always making space for a new beginning. To not hold onto the past, to make way for the new and unexplored.

What’s a piece of media (book, movie, song) that changed how you see the world?

The movie that has had the greatest impact on my life would have to be Pay It Forward.   It is such a moving piece of cinema.  The ending is so sad but the message of it really packs a punch. It makes you think about the world 🌎 that little boy was trying to change  oblivious to the fact that his idea had taken off and had a huge impact on the lives of people. That little boy was an innocent angelic soul. I would advise anyone who hasn’t seen it to watch it, but make sure you have a box of tissues with you.

What’s the best advice you’d give to someone younger than you?

The best advice I would give to someone younger than me is to surround yourself with good people and only let people with the best of intentions be close to you.  It was advice I was given when I most needed it and taking on board that advice transformed my life.  Trust your gut instincts and don’t ignore the feeling in your gut if something doesn’t feel quite right.  It could be God and the angels giving 🙏🏽 you their quiet wisdom. True friends will be revealed to you by just how happy and peaceful and contented they make you feel.