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My experience of mental illness.https://www.google.com/adsense/new/u/0/pub-3691500166505297/privacymessaging

To my readers I have a confession to make. I have schizophrenia, but I don’t think that is the worst thing that has ever happened to me. I think my experience of schizophrenia has made me a better person, because I am an empath and I often feel other people’s pain, which is both a blessing and a curse. It is a blessing because I have compassion and can listen to other people’s sad stories of being victimised and stigmatised and really relate, but being an empath I can feel the emotional pain of these people and want them to know there are people who care when they are suffering and if you have a little faith, there will always be someone who will listen and say I HEAR YOU.

I have a strong faith in God and this has guided me throughout my darkest hours, when it feels like no one cares or understands, and when the negative thoughts become agonising I force my mind to feel better, by doing something caring and positive for a loved one ❤️. I believe goodwill generates goodwill and doing something nice for someone helps my own healing. There is way too much negativity surrounding a diagnosis of schizophrenia, the stigma is awful to bear from cruel small minded people who believe that people with schizophrenia are evil and inferior. My experience of it is that this judgement of us, contributes to and compounds the more negative symptoms and leads to people self harming, comfort eating and feeling suicidal. Just how many people have committed suicide because the emotional pain caused by stigma is to hard to bear.

Honestly battling schizophrenia feels like a war in your mind between good and evil. I am a highly functioning person and I am determined when I am unwell that evil is not going to claim me. I make myself think positive and go put of my way to think kindly of myself and my loved ones. I am truly grateful for the good people in my life, who have some compassion for the impact on me of this spiritual 🙏 battle. I will always advocate for the basic human rights of those who suffer like I do, and I will always listen to and make time to treat people well and empower them to have faith and be positive in their life. When you are feeling disempowered, you need to find whatever works to empower you. What empowers me is my belief in angels. That God sends us angels, as his employees to heal the damage caused by people who stigmatise mental illness. I truly have met some wonderful people working in mental health, my psychiatrist in particular. My psychiatrist is a very wise man and we often talk about faith and people having a life purpose. My purpose is to bring a little empathy, compassion and care to those having such a spiritual battle. I’m not an angel, just a human brought up to be loving and caring.

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A Finn or Hirst family member

If you could switch lives with a famous person for a week, who would it be and why?

This question got me thinking. There are no famous people i would want to switch lives with for a week, but I would love to be a family member in either Neil Finn’s or Rob Hirsts family. They both considered their families to be the most important things in their life and I would love ❤️ to be part of a dynasty where musical 🎼 talent is inherited.  Both Neil and Rob are my musical idols and it would be wonderful to grow up with such talent and all round wonderful people.

Mindfulness and offloading

How do you manage stress?

I manage stress by the daily practice of mindfulness and offloading when I need to talk to my support network of my psychiatrist and friends.

I take every day slowly and send out positive messages by sending my loved ones a positive morning gif.  I try to face the world with a glass half full perspective.  I offload regularly to both some great friends 🧡 and a wonderful psychiatrist.  It all helps me deal with whatever curve balls get thrown my way .

Trust your gut,  it is your intuition.

If you could go back in time and give your younger self advice, what would it be?

If I could go back in time and give my younger self advice it would be to trust your gut instincts,  that your gut feelings are your intuition communicating to you through your feelings and thoughts.  It something doesn’t feel right,  don’t buy into it,trust your gut instincts and be careful,  don’t get involved with anyone who sets your gut to not feel 100%, our intuition is Gods way of communicating with us,  cautioning us to be wise and careful.  Even if it is family that makes your gut tremble be careful and don’t enter into relationships with those people whom our instincts are crying out to be mindful of.  It is better to trust yourself and only let people with good intentions get close to you,  keep those people whom your gut urges to be mindful of far from where you are. Keep your distance from them and surround yourself with good people.

Focusing on writing ✍️

What’s something you’ve done that your past self would be proud of?

The main thing that my past self would be proud of is my decision several years ago to focus on my writing ✍️ skills , both this blog and my other writings eg God Bless Our Dogs,  Dance Of The Emerald Dress and The Angel Lady.  When I was young the main thing I wanted to be when I grew up was to be an author. Now that I no longer work in mental health I can focus on the things I love and my writing is a big part of that.

Neil Finn or Scott Aplin

Which celebrity would you love to meet, and what would you talk about?

There are 2 celebrities I would like to meet and chat with. Quite obviously I would love to meet my absolute idol Neil Finn and chat about his  involvement in the charities he supports including building schools in Africa supporting So They Can and his work with Auckland City Mission.

I would also love to share a meal with Scott Aplin and talk about his career and involvement in television programs such as The Voice,  The Recording Studio and The Piano.

A good person

What does it mean to be a good person?

To me being a good person means that you are kind, loyal, honest, grateful 🙏🏽 and gracious.  You go out of your way to radiate kindness and love in this 🌎 world.  You treat everyone how you yourself would like to be treated. Everyone is your equal and nobody is inferior or superior to you.  You are grateful 🙏🏽 for what God has brought 🙏🏽 into your life and are gracious 🙏🏽 to those who reciprocate kindness. You generate goodwill naturally because love and kindness is who you are.

To not take on board other people’s judgements, opinions and stigma

What’s one thing you know now that would have saved your younger self a lot of pain?

The one thing I now know that would’ve saved my younger self alot of pain would be to never take on board other peoples judgements stigma and opinions particularly in relation to my mental health issues. It would’ve saved me a lifetime of pain and made my personal journey more difficult.  I now only concern myself with what I can actually change in my life and I don’t focus on or care about others judgements of me. I try to see the glass as being half full and tune out to when other people express their negativity towards me.

The joy of discovery

Today i am very focused on the joy of discovering things about my friends, that i did not know.  Today I found out some things about my good friend 🧡 Kathryn.  We were talking about the times we have encountered famous people in an almost six degrees of separation way.  It was a joy to hear more of Kathryn’s experiences in life  She is a brave empathetic soul and when she talks about her family,  particularly about her passed over son Joshua she speaks with such joy, love and reminiscing about him in such a loving way. I had sent Kathryn some YouTube music 🎶 🎵 clips this week and realised I had sent the wrong Rob Hirst playlist thinking I had sent the song There You Are which his long lost daughter Jay O’Shea had written about meeting hin for the first time. Without really realising it I sent her a tribute about his drumming and performing in Midnight Oil which is very hard and fast and totally mesmerising,  but not the gentle song I thought I had sent.   I needed to not worry because Kathryn is a person with a great understanding of pop culture.

I love learning more about my friends as I believe in the amazing gift of synchronisity abd the value of sharing one another’s stories and experiences ❤️   It is what makes us human and friendships with like minded people is such a gift.  Friends become our family by such shared experiences and bonds us to like minded people . I love discovering more about those I hold dear.

I Choose

A good friend of mine sent me a message today that she thought was about me and I want to share it with you.  It is as follows

I choose to be grateful 🙏🏽

I choose to be thankful

I choose to be excited

I choose to be happy 

I CHOOSE.

It was a message that her recently departed nephew wrote to his wife whilst battling cancer.  My friend said when she was shown this message she thought of me because I choose to be all those things and be a positive influence in an often all too negative world 🌎.  I feel humbled and wonderful 🙏🏽 that I can be an inspiration.