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My experience of mental illness.https://www.google.com/adsense/new/u/0/pub-3691500166505297/privacymessaging

To my readers I have a confession to make. I have schizophrenia, but I don’t think that is the worst thing that has ever happened to me. I think my experience of schizophrenia has made me a better person, because I am an empath and I often feel other people’s pain, which is both a blessing and a curse. It is a blessing because I have compassion and can listen to other people’s sad stories of being victimised and stigmatised and really relate, but being an empath I can feel the emotional pain of these people and want them to know there are people who care when they are suffering and if you have a little faith, there will always be someone who will listen and say I HEAR YOU.

I have a strong faith in God and this has guided me throughout my darkest hours, when it feels like no one cares or understands, and when the negative thoughts become agonising I force my mind to feel better, by doing something caring and positive for a loved one ❤️. I believe goodwill generates goodwill and doing something nice for someone helps my own healing. There is way too much negativity surrounding a diagnosis of schizophrenia, the stigma is awful to bear from cruel small minded people who believe that people with schizophrenia are evil and inferior. My experience of it is that this judgement of us, contributes to and compounds the more negative symptoms and leads to people self harming, comfort eating and feeling suicidal. Just how many people have committed suicide because the emotional pain caused by stigma is to hard to bear.

Honestly battling schizophrenia feels like a war in your mind between good and evil. I am a highly functioning person and I am determined when I am unwell that evil is not going to claim me. I make myself think positive and go put of my way to think kindly of myself and my loved ones. I am truly grateful for the good people in my life, who have some compassion for the impact on me of this spiritual 🙏 battle. I will always advocate for the basic human rights of those who suffer like I do, and I will always listen to and make time to treat people well and empower them to have faith and be positive in their life. When you are feeling disempowered, you need to find whatever works to empower you. What empowers me is my belief in angels. That God sends us angels, as his employees to heal the damage caused by people who stigmatise mental illness. I truly have met some wonderful people working in mental health, my psychiatrist in particular. My psychiatrist is a very wise man and we often talk about faith and people having a life purpose. My purpose is to bring a little empathy, compassion and care to those having such a spiritual battle. I’m not an angel, just a human brought up to be loving and caring.

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The need for ECT

I have just received a message from a long term friend asking me what I know about ECT, and whether i personally have received ECT. Luckily my experience of schizophrenia has never included the requirement of ECT.  I know my psychiatrist does recommend that for some of his patients, normally for severe depression that isn’t responding to antidepressants . He is wise and diligent when he recommends that treatment.  I feel blessed 🙌 😇 🙏🏽 that I have never needed it but know it can be very effective at recalibrating the mind in those with severe depression.  I often get asked from friends different questions related to the treatment of mental health issues and always have empathy and compassion for those asking me and their loved ones. Navigating through the journey of mental health issues is my life purpose and when my friends need it i offer kindness, support and understanding from a unique perspective.  I pray 🙏🏽 for my friend and her family as they navigate through  what must seem like walking in a minefield of the mental health system. There but for the grace of God go i. I am always ready to quietly listen 🎶 and support someone on their journey. Such is life.

What shapes us

Do you think we’re shaped more by our experiences or by who we are?

I think to a certain extent we,are shaped by genetics and who we are. We are all born with a personality that to begin with is shaped by our genetics.

I also believe that our experiences shape who we become, as we are all on an individual journey each with our own experiences and learning.  I may share some similarities to my family, but my journey has been totally different to any of my family.  My experience of mental health issues has shaped the person I have become and made me a totally different person to my other family members. Because I am an intensely private person and don’t share my personal pain with a lot of people, except for some pretty wonderful friends, my friends see me in a totally different light to my family.  So yes our experiences do play a major part in who we become on our journey 

A Tribute to Sam Neill

It is a cold wintry day here in Melbourne as I sit here reflecting on the passing of Sam Neill. Sam is someone for whom my love only grew for as he aged. He certainly was,a silver fox as he aged he remained extremely hot to look at. Like his own fine wine, he grew better with age and his online presence helped many of us mere mortals with his humour and humanity throughout lockdown.  Those online pieces will now be viewed by many of us who hold Sam, ever the gentleman in our hearts 💕.  I would have loved to have dinner with Sam and share some of his lovely wine and his charm,wit and wisdom.  For those interested in his wine it is Two Paddocks from central Otago region in New 🇳🇿 Zealand.   I dare say right now there would be lots of people interested in buying his wine to drink and reflect upon what an interesting,  wonderful and varied life he had. I for one will have fond memories of watching the online stuff he did particularly “cooking with Sam” and the short pieces of life on the vineyard with his collection of chickens  ducks,  pigs and cows etc all named after famous friends of his. His sense of humour and the ridiculous were wonderful. RIP 🙏🏽 Sam you truly are well remembered as a remarkable 🙏🏽 human being.

3 books I have read 📚 more than any other.

Which book have you read more than any other?

There are 3 books I have read more than any other.  The first book is These Happy Golden Years by Laura Ingalls Wilder.   I read the print off it so much when I was growing up.  The second book is Book Enz a book of photos of Split Enz that I bought from their fan club when I was about 12 years old.  It is well read and the binding is falling apart from how much I have read it. The third book is Past Secrets by Cathy Kelly, one of my favourite books by her. I read it a couple of times a year.

Habit that has improved my life the most

What’s one habit that has improved your life the most?

The habit that has improved my life the most is sending the good morning 🙏🏽 🌄 gif to my loved one’s. I started this as a tribute to my beautiful passed over angel 😇 😢 💕 lady Susanna.  Susanna only ever spread love and goodwill in this world 🌎 and it was an honour to be her friend . It reminds my loved ones that they are never alone in this world 🌎,  there will always be someone who thinks of you  ♥️

The Hard Years

What’s a chapter of your life you’d title “The Hard Years” — and what got you through it?

The hardest years of my life were when I was married and working in mental health for an employer that was horrible and bullying. I received zero support from my ex husband,  who wanted me to keep working,  because me not working would negatively impact his lifestyle. What got me through this time was the inspiration I received from Susanna and Russell  both of them helped me to get through this time with their love and support and my faith in God. When another hard time came along, supporting Diana and her family through their train wreck of a life it was Susanna and Russell again who supported me, even when I ended up unwell in hospital through all the stress.  Susanna was definitely an angeli in my life and I don’t think I could’ve coped without her support . I also think my psychiatrist helped me through both of those challenging periods in my life and my faith that God has plans for us all.