If you could live anywhere in the world, where would it be?
If I could live anywhere in the world 🌎 it would either be Parnell in Auckland New Zealand or if it was still in Australia I would like to live at Barwon Heads or Queenscliff on the west coast of Victoria.
Is a little chaos actually good for us?
I think a little chaos can be good for us, but it depends on the situation and the chaos caused.
I think back to when Lily was a puppy and how seriously she was on a search and destroy mission, constantly testing the boundaries of what she could get away with. I look upon those memories with fondness and love the chaos that having a puppy can bring. It is chaos worth experiencing. So yes a little chaos can be good for us.
Who is your favorite blogger to follow?
My favourite blogger to follow is Krishna Shiwarkar. They write such beautifully expressed posts.
This blog is a bit unusual for me because I rarely talk about the times I have been hospitalised for my mental health issues.
Something interesting and unusual happened the last time I was in hospital. Quite literally in hospital with me as patients were my ex husband and an ex boyfriend of many years ago. What was funny though was they were both in hospital under assumed names, not their real names that I know them by. They both seemed shocked to see me and I think that speaks volumes about them and very little about me. For awhile I have been contemplating the fact they were in hospital as the same time as me, particularly because I don’t believe in coincidences. I think it was a God thing that I was in hospital with them at the same time and it is something that I’ve come to realise that those people with nothing to hide, hide nothing. I am not ashamed of the fact that I have mental health issues and talk about my issues regularly. The fact that both of these men were using an alias whilst they were in hospital says a lot more about them than it does about me. They must be hiding some things about themselves they didn’t want people to know and both were really uncomfortable with my presence in the ward, but honestly I couldn’t care less what they think . I had nothing to hide or be ashamed of, so I focus on getting well in hospital and ignoring most of what goes on with the other patients. I am there to get well, not be entertained by others.
What’s a lesson you’ve learned recently that shifted your perspective?
The lesson I have learned recently is that being independent can be a curse, particularly at times that you need help in your life, because you have been hyper independent for so long that everybody assumes you always manage everything and are shocked when you admit you need help, or ask for help.
I belong to Generation X, so it is always assumed that we are strongly independent and will never ask for help because we want to be seen as being capable and not needing support in anyway. Yes I am a generation X lady through and through,so I experience anxiety at the thought of asking for assistance in things I can’t do myself alone. I think I shocked my family recently because they see me as someone who just battles on in life and make do with what I have. The reality is that yes I am strongly independent, but there will from time to time be things that I can’t do on my own related to my personal financial circumstances, so I choose to just battle on and try to get by stretching my personal resources to the limit. I am a bit naive at times and tend to view everything through a glass half full perspective even though the reality can be a bit different to that.
This experience has taught me not to ask for support but to try and make do and mend and save as much as I can with my limited means. It has opened my eyes and made me see what a naive trusting person I am at times.
What do you do to improve your sleep?
To improve my sleep i take a little bit of valium to help me get to sleep and also I have a mug a warm milk with half a teaspoon of nutmeg in it. These tips combined generally work for me.
What’s the best way to deal with negative thoughts?
I find the best way to handle negative thoughts is to listen 🎶 to a playlist of music that I have deve to listen to drowning out negative thoughts.
The other thing I do is to practice mindfulness usually by slowly patting Lily and focusing on how soft and lovely she feels.
What do you love now, that you hated when you were younger?
Something that I love now that I hated as a child are olives 🫒. I really love the taste of olives 🫒 now, they are one of my favourite foods to snack on. I would make a good little Italian or Greek girl because I love Mediterranean cuisine, antipasto, olives 🫒, salami, cheeses dips etc. My pallete matured as I aged and I am quite the foodie.
What’s a time you followed your gut and it turned out to be exactly right?
There had been many times I followed my gut and it turned out to be exactly right, but some are too painful to write ✍️ about and resurrecting the past may be painful and unhealthy.
There is one time I can write ✍️ about now because I have well and truly dealt with it and it is a past I no longer cling too.
For the months leading up to the end of my marriage I sensed something was different about our marriage, just little things my husband did, and often he would be away for a few hours without letting me know where he was. My husband wasn’t the most emotionally intelligent of men and he made the mistake of bringing this woman home to meet me. The very second she walked into our marital home i knew she was trouble. She had the gall to tell me that she was the important woman in my husbands life now, and that I had to take a back-seat to her. I was both mortified and horrified and my instincts were screaming at me inside telling me to not put up with this woman’s and my husbands behaviour. The marriage only lasted a few weeks more, I waited until I was 100% sure what was going on . My husband was shocked when I left. I genuinely believe 🙏🏽 that he thought i would just stay and be treated like dirt, because in his mind that was what a good wife would do.
I trusted my instincts and left and never looked back. I would realise in a few months time I had really done the right thing for my emotional and mental well-being. Such is life.
I hsve had a few challenging months recently but it has taught me that respect 🙏🏽 and kindness still matter. If all the world 🌎 seems to be against you, it is then that you learn what truly matters and you learn what gratefulness and graciousness are all about. Throughout my most challenging times, when I feel b that solving my housing situation is just too hard and complex, my friends envelop me with their love and give me the grace needed to go on and thrive. I feel honoured to be so loved and cared for. I know that this kindness is God at work in my life and I am truly humbled for how deeply I am loved.
