What is one question you hate to be asked? Explain.

There is one question I often get asked that I really dislike.  That question is ” Do you have kids”.  I have been asked that question so many times and I dread how my answer of “No” will be received.

I was asked that question a lot in my late 20s and early 30s by friends of my sister inlaw.   When I would answer that question with “no I don’t have kids, these women would instantly judge me as being not worthwhile and would stop talking to me,like I had told them I had the plague.   I married later in life and then had fertility issues and then a marriage breakdown,  so children obviously aren’t a part of Gods plan for my life.  I don’t like how judgemental some people can be about women not having children.   Not every in life is blessed with children of their own,and I don’t believe that childless people are inferior in any way.  Empathy towards childless women is rare. I am still an interesting, compassionate woman, and I feel not having children doesn’t define me.  I am still an interesting person.  I do feel I have missed out, as a woman,  though never having experienced pregnancy or childbirth, but I see now that God has other plans for my life. Such is life.

You’re writing your autobiography. What’s your opening sentence?

My family told me that man walked on the moon for me.

That would be my opening sebtence to my autobiography.  I was born on the 1st July 1969vand came home from hospital the day man first walked on the moon.

What are three objects you couldn’t live without?

The only problem with today’s post is limiting it to 3 objects , but I will do my best.

The first answer is obvious.  It is Lily.  I love ❤️ her dearly and couldn’t imagine life without her.   I know one day I will have to live without her, and it makes me cherish all the more the time I spend with her.

The second answer is the white gold little cross and chain I wear around my neck all the  time. I bought this cross with some money I inherited from my grandmother,  and I never take it off.  It is a deep part of my faith, and I wear it knowing that Gods love will always protect me.

The third answer is that I cherish everything that Susanna had given me and find it hard to narrow that down to one particular thing. I don’t think it is possible to do that,  so I say the thing I treasure most is the love and generosity that Susanna brought to my life.  It is as precious as gold and as delicate as fine bone china.

What experiences in life helped you grow the most?

There are a couple of experiences in life that have helped me to grow.

The first would have to be my experience of mental health issues.   It has made me a more empathic,  compassionate and wise person.  I think I am a better person for it, a hell of a lot more caring and wise.  Experiencing the stigma has been challenging,  but I know throughout my career and my life, I have helped a lot of people to gain a better understanding and perspective 🙏🏽 when it comes to mental health.   Also, having such a wonderful psychiatrist helps me immensely on my journey through life.

The other experience that has helped me to grow was to move out of the family home and to live independently. Being responsible to yourself in this way is an experience that brings about the most growth in your life.   Having to pay your way leads to becoming financially responsible,  because you can’t spend madly when you have to pay for rent, food, bills etc.  It makes you an adult with a strong understanding of responsibility in your life. I think everyone should experience this before you consider marrying someone,  because the whole experience of living with a spouse is better when you have had the experience of being solely responsible for yourself first.

These experiences have helped me grow as a person and have assisted in making me the person I am today.

Do you believe in fate/destiny?

Yes I do believe in fate or destiny.   There has been just too much happen in my life that could not be coincidence.

Everybody we meet on our journey comes into our life for a reason, some only for a season and some for a lifetime.  

Our life is all about the journey, not the destination, so we meet fellow travellers on that journey . If our journeys are similar, we develop relationships with those travellers.

Do you enjoy your job?

Do I enjoy my job?  Of course I do, now that I consider writing ✍️ my main occupation.   I love writing ✍️ this blog and writing books.  It is very fulfilling. Admittedly, I don’t make the money I used to earn in mental health,  but I find I am a lot happier, now that I’m a writer ☺️.

Describe a phase in life that was difficult to say goodbye to.

The most difficult phase in my life that was difficult to say goodbye to was losing Susanna to the ravages of cancer.  She was a sister to me in every way that counted, and I had prepared myself over her 6 year long battle with kidney and liver cancer that one day  that insidious horrible disease would claim her.  Although I had mentally realised that it didn’t make the end of her beautiful life any easier to deal with.  I was grieving and still grieving the loss of someone I considered to be family.   I know I was blessed to have her in my life and, over time, realising that blessing makes the grief easier to live with. It has changed me and made me a different person, cherishing the love I have in my life.

If you could be someone else for a day, who would you be, and why?

I don’t think I would want to be anyone else for a day.  It might be a good exercise to teach empathy for others,  but that wield be all that it would be good for.

When I first read the question I thought of famous people I admire and did briefly think about what it would be like to be married to someone famous ,like  Simon Baker,  but realised I didn’t really want to change places.  I am happy in my own skin, and I do consider empathy to be important, but there is no one else I would rather be.

What is the biggest challenge you will face in the next six months?

The greatest challenge I face in the next six months is to stay well and continue down the path of progress in my life.  A year ago, I had a bout of my mental health issues and was in hospital 🏥.  I have really fought since then to get well and stay well, and so far, I have managed that extremely well. I never know what curve balls life will throw at me,  so I hope I can be strong and resilient when life does so .  I try to be optimistic about life, and that certainly helps me in my day to day life.

What advice would you give to your teenage self?

The advice I would give to my teenage self would be to trust your gut instincts, your developing women’s intuition and if something doesn’t feel right in your gut, trust that feeling and be prepared to walk away from certain people and certain situations, when your gut is telling you something is wrong 

I would tell her that she is right in her belief that true beauty comes from the inside and to be wary of those people who judge on appearances.   They aren’t real people and aren’t truly beautiful.  I would tell her that some truly beautiful people will come into her life and that life can be rich, wonderful, and fulfilling.