My life is a work in progress not a problem to be solved.

Lately, certain occurrences have made me reflect upon my life. Whilst I was out walking Lily, I had an epiphany that my life is a work in progress, and I am not a problem to be solved. Somethings have happened recently where some people have wanted rather inappropriatel to interfere in my life because I am a person whom in their day to day life lives with a mental illness.

I’ve been thinking about the nature of love in my life and thinking about my true friends and why they are my true friends. I’ve been reminiscing about my lovely angel lady sister Susanna and rejoicing in my memories of her. I think about Susanna and how wonderful and generous she was to me. She was always kind and loveable, and she treated me as her equal in every respect 🙏🏽. She was my sister, and she was empathic and compassionate. There is a difference between empathy and sympathy. My true friends show me love and empathy and a good sense of humour, and yes I am in their eyes their equal.

Occasionally, some people I meet instantly judge me on the fact I live with a mental illness and feel sorry for me. They make friends with me, and at first show kindness and a need to be close to me. Things go okay for a while, and I accept their friendship at face value. What ends up happening is that these people feel the need to act for me in my life because they feel sorry for me and think sympathy is the basis of friendship. It is like these people acquaint friendship with pity and end up acting in ways that aren’t a part of a healthy equal friendship. There always is a need to control me me that becomes unhealthy for me, and I realise how unhealthy this is for me and I end up walking away from those relationships because it is not healthy for me. Those friendships don’t survive because pity towards me is not friendship, and certainly loving someone because you pity them is not the basis for a healthy, lasting friendship. These people mess with my head and confuse me, and it is only when I am free of that that I become both happy and healthy. Sure, I live with a mental illness, but my true lasing friendships are those where I am treated as a friend and not a problem to be solved.