PRIVACY

As I get older I realise how very important a sense of privacy is to me. It is something I as an adult haven’t always had and as part and parcel of my independence, it is something that I have had to fight hard for to achieve in my life

Right from when I was a small child I dreamed of having a place to call my own. I saw myself as a adult having a small home 🏡 of my own. This dream didn’t always include a husband, and sometimes it did include having children. The women I idolised were always independent strong women, who succeeded despite the odds, ie Helen Keller, Laura Ingalls and later on Janet Frame. I can remember as a young adult applying to the Ministry of Housing for a scheme to help people buy their first home. Surely this should have been a wake up call to some members of my family that I was seeking an independent life.

I moved out of home in my early twenties, like so many of my generation. Initially I moved out with friends, who had the same desire as me, to have some independence . I really benefited from this independence as it showed me the real 🌎 world of having to budget to pay bills, and have a sense of autonomy and privacy regarding my life. Little did I know that the onset of my mental health issues would result in certain people trying to take away and control my independence and my sense of privacy. Had I had a 🔮 crystal ball that looked into my future I would have fought hard to remain living the way I wanted to. To say that fighting at that particular time was way too hard and the judgement and stigma surrounding my mental health was overwhelming so it was impossible to stand up and reclaim the sense of peace that having true privacy gives you.

I can recall being treated with a total disrepect of my privacy and it wasn’t until I gained meaningful employment in mental health that I fought against such control of my independence and moved out to live on my own. It has only been recently as I reflect on my life that I realise that I had to ultimately regain my independence or I wouldnt be where I am today. Had I not regained my independence I shudder to think of where I would be today.

As I reflect I am really grateful 🙏 for the privacy I now have . Living with Lily is very peaceful, quiet and fulfilling. I may only be renting and probably because of life circumstances beyond my control I will probably never own a place of my own. Having good people around me who love me and understand how much I have had to fight for what I have certainly helps. I have learned to be both grateful and gracious for this support. There still remains in my life an element of some people who seek to control or restrict my privacy and my independence but ultimately they have minimal impact on me. I have fought so hard for the basic human rights in my life and those I have assisted in my career in mental health. I am strong because I have a faith that has led to some pretty amazing people sharing my journey. With a sense of privacy in my life, cones a sense of peace and happiness.