TEST OF FAITH

I have always had a belief in God and know he is with us at all times and particularly the more challenging 🙏 times. My faith was tested recently with the passing of Susanna as I initially battled with my faith, as I struggled to see God at work with that.

I have now come to a sense of peace and acceptance and I know God has made a place for Susanna up in heaven. I feel Susannas presence very strongly and know she is an angelic presence by my side forever more. A big part of the grieving process is acceptance and there always is a silver lining in every cloud.

Some beautiful things have happened recently about Susanna. Making friends with Kathryn has been lovely and we support one another on our journey of grief and faith. I now also keep in touch with Susannas daughter Rebekah and that has been a lovely connection to make. Susanna has been such an important influence on my life and so I feel a connection to her family and want to stay in touch with them.

If we look for it there is always examples of God at work in our lives . God certainly has brought some wonderful people and experiences in my life, so many small examples, that could not be coincidence 🙏. He has never given me anything that was so challenging that I didn’t learn from and learn how to manage. I include my mental health issues as something challenging, but ultimately something that helped me to learn, change and become a better more faith centred person on an interesting journey of life. My mental health issues have not been the worst thing I have endured, not even the stigma associated with mental health issues has been the worst. Being judged because of my mental health issues has been challenging and frustrating at times, but ultimately the experience of being judged, says so much more about those whom judged me, and their journey of life, than what it says about my own journey. Some people fail to see the 🎁 gift in every life experience and instead of learning and growing in their faith look to judge God as the reason for their troubles in life.

God is love. God has mercy. If we look for the good in every life experience we will find it. If I am honest I know Susanna well enough to say she looked for and found the good in everything. She would want me to do the same, and frankly I am blessed to have had someone in my life, that lived life so beautifully 😍. I plan to honour her life, by being as faithful and assured of Gods plan for all of us. Just like Susanna I plan on being his faithful servant forever more.