As you all may be aware from my previous posts I write a lot about goodwill , positivity ✨ and generosity being important in this life.

Have any of my readers seen the movie Pay It Forward? If not I encourage you to watch it. A young boy comes up with an idea that would create a utopia here on earth if everyone took on board his idea, where we start a chain of good deeds, by doing 3 good deeds for people with no selfish agenda only asking that the 3 recipients of those good deeds join in and do 3 good deeds each, so that it becomes a chain and an outpouring of goodwill on the earth. Spoiler alert this will also be one of the saddest moves ever, but it’s message is beautiful. It reminds me of being an impressionable young teen, when in our social studies class our teacher had written the words to the John Lennon song IMAGINE on the blackboard and asked us to think deeply as to what it was John was writing about. Perhaps IMAGINE is the utopia the young boy in Pay It Forward was hoping to create. I know as I looked at the words to IMAGINE I was visualising what utopia would look like.

To me spreading goodwill generates only good stuff and can create in our hearts the vision of heaven ♥ here on earth. Of course we don’t actually go to heaven until we pass over, but if like that little boy in Pay It Forward we really believe that 💙 we can change the world why wouldn’t we do.it. We may not be able to change everyone’s life and circumstances but we can change our own and hopefully change for the better the lives of our loved ones.

As we head into the Christmas season think about how you personally can spread a bit of goodwill. Be Kind, be gracious, spread smiles to those we pass in the streets. Goodwill doesn’t have to cost anything, it just has to come from the part. As Christmas approaches think of your own special way of paying it forward and may you be blessed with the Grace of God in return.

When we are feeling at our absolute worst and we feel lost and abanded, it is then that we must take charge and practice Self love and care for ourselves as our first priority ❤.

By self love, I do not mean vanity, i literally mean treating ourselves with a little tender, loving care, as it is at those times that we really deserve it.. As I mentioned in a previous post, be kind to yourself and make doing things that help with your self worth and self esteem your priority at that time. Caring for yourself and giving yourself a little TLC can make even the most challenging times a little easier to bear.

If you have good, supportive friends, you can always offload to them. A truly good friend is there for you at all times, and talking to them can mean your burden is lessened. Don’t isolate yourself at that time, as being alone and not talking can make you feel even worse. Walk your dog, go for a coffee at your favoutite Cafe. It doesn’t matter what it is, just something small, that floats your particular boat will help. It doesn’t have to cost anything. Walking your dog on a 🌞 sunny day is free and helps to produce feel good endorphins and also makes your dog happy. And believe me, I know for a fact how having a happy dog, that expresses their happiness to their owner, can make you feel so much better and happier beyond compare. They truly are little antidepressants and work better than any pill.

If your immediate environment is depressing, add a little beauty to it. Surround yourself with some things that are of beauty to you, and having them nearby can help to make you feel a little better. It doesn’t matter if you don’t have a lot of money as beautiful things can be found at secondhsnd charity shops and discount stores, such as your local discount Asian shops. Even just exploring such shops, looking for little treasures can distract you for the present time and can make you feel a little more bright and positive. I personally love, soaps, candles scarves and aet supplies as things to look at that bring me pleasure.

Art therapy and being creative exercises the part of the brain that produces our happy endorphins. However you like to be creative is up to you. When I am at my darkest, creative outlets become important to me. I have pastels, watercolours and the like on hand at home and occasionally dabble in this. I like to give what I create to those I love.

Starting this blog, has given me such, pleasure and is my favourite form of positive self expression. If my words have a positive impact on my readers, then my work here is done. It was my psychiatrists suggestion, that I start to write a blog, and it is a damn fine suggestion. I have always been a writer, a counsellor and motivator and I get to be all three of these as a blog writer. Somedays are more challenging 🙏 than others, but once I feel inspired the words just flow from me. Writing my blog helps my self worth and self esteem and is my particular brand of self expression.

All the hints I have written about in this blog, I actively include in my life, so I know what works. Try and find what works for you.

Oh I forgot to mention a little bit of chocolate occasionally also helps you to feel a little better, it too can be an antidepressant.

Ps If you want to look at some beautiful creative things, check out Sharondelier on the internet. It is the business that Neil Finn’s wife Sharon has started and looking at her beautiful work can make you feel better and hopefully inspired to find your own creative outlet.

It is true that you learn something new every day Today I learnt that I can collectively call my niece’s and nephews my ” niblings”. Thank you Jennifer for letting me know that My niblings hold a very special place in my ❤ heart.

A few months ago our family 👪 came together to celebrate 🍾 Grace’s wedding 💑 to Chris. It was the loveliest thing that has happened to our family 👪 in quite awhile. Grace is the first of my niblings to get married. It really was a wonderful event which luckily happened in between lockdowns here in Melbourne. Which was a rare occur over the past eighteen months.

All my nieces looked stunning and radiantly beautiful and my two nephews very handsome. My brothers looked very dapper and my Mum as grandmother 👵 was given the very special role as a flower girl.

My nephews James was seated next to me at the reception. It allowed us to have a really great conversation and at one stage I said to James that the only time I miss having a partner is at 💑 weddings and other such celebrations. To which James replied that he would be my partner for the night. How beautiful 😍 is that. My young handsome nephew happy to be a partner to his middle-aged Aunty . My nephew Kevin, who works at Hugo Boss was also in fine form too that night .

I have a special relationship with my nieces too and am so looking forward to when Grace has her baby. Emily has a beautiful attitude to her relationship with me and always responds with affection to the texts I send her. I am very proud of Lana who is studying to pursue her goal of working with animals.

All my niblings are indigo and 🔮 crystal children and have been put on this earth with a life purpose. I am lucky as their Aunty Kaye that I get to share the journey with them. They are so special to me as I don’t have children of my own and I am pleased that I can now collectively call them my niblings.

If there is anything I have gained in my life, it is true wealth, and I am not talking about money, as I am not blessed with a lot of money, but what I am referring to is that I am wealthy in terms of the quality of relationships and truly wonderful friends in my life.

When I was diagnosed with mental health issues many years ago, I lost some friends around that time. They were fair weather friends, around for a good time, but shallow when it came to caring and riding the roller-coaster of life. My brother David gave me some wise advice around that time. He told me to surround myself with good people and I consciously took that on board and was wise enough to know that if you want good people in your life, you must first of all be a good friend and supportive ally to those whom come into your life.

Mt friend Adrian, whom was my housemate when I was first diagnosed, has been a wonderful support over many years. When I was diagosed Adrian was having a battle of his own with a brain tumour and I decided to move home because we both needed care, but in our separate circumstances neither of us could care for the other the way we needed. Adrian and I have seen one another at our absolute worst, and at out absolute best, and never have we judged the other. If I could I would like to bottle the formula of Adrian’s friendship and non judgement as alot of people could learn from it. To this day Adrian remains one of my greatest supporters and we never take one another for granted.

I am also blessed with a lot of strong, supportive female friends in my life, whom I have met, through, study, work and church. God has truly blessed me and I truly love and value the role models that these friends are. There are too many of you to name but you all have enriched my journey immensely.

I was also blessed with a wonderful man, whom was my father figure after my dad sadly passed. His name was Michael Fleming and he was amazing, a truly beautiful, caring soul and very wise. Whenever I now face a conundrum in my life I ask myself, what would be Michael’s advice and usually I intuitively receive an answer. Michael Fleming reminded me of my Dad in so many ways and often I had a sense of de ja vue when he was around. I believe in angels, and know Michael, just like Dad was in my life for a reason.

Evertime I see Susanna I know she is an angel in my life too and whatever happens Susanna will always be my angel, in this life and the next.

I have also made some truly good Christian friends through Brunswick Baptist Church, including Russell, Jennifer and Carl and Gisele. I literally pinch myself that God has blessed me with truly wonderful Christian friends.

I guess the point I making is if you are hoping to have good people in your life, become a good friend to those who come into your life.

Everyone comes into our life for a reason, some only for a season, and some forever more.

Hi I’m Lily. Sometimes my Mummy takes me to a special place called Monkey Business Dog Grooming. Dogs of all shapes and sizes get groomed at Monkey Business. Big dogs, little dogs. Dogs with long hair, dogs with short hair. All are welcome at Monkey Business. It is our special salon. They make us sparkle and treat us like we are little stars on the red carpet.

When I visit there the groomers all care for me. My special groomer Alisha clips and styles my coat. She scrubs and scrubs me until I sparkle ✨. When it is summer she cuts my coat short so I can stay cool in the warmer weather. Alisha also gives me a bath, which is not fun, but I put up with it because once I have been bathed and dried I feel better.

Alisha also sprays a little perfume on me. Mummy loves me smelling of this perfume. She says it smells like baby powder. When I have finished being groomed Mummy takes me home and gives me a treat. She keeps smelling me, which is a little embarrassing.

I like 👍 the groomers at Monkey Business because they love care for dogs of all shapes and sizes. They pamper me and style me with a little bow or bandanna. They make me feel like the little star that Mummy says I am.

I love Monkey Business.

When I was at High School a friend of mine known as Possum started to call me Sparkles and it is a nickname that the friends in my life would agree fit’s well. Possum started to call me this because I was always a happy person. I have many happy memories of my teenage years and look upon the nickname with fondness.

The school chaplain would also have agreed because I can vividly remember her saying that everytime she saw me I was like a little ray of sunshine. If only she knew how apt the little ray of sunshine 🌞 description was. All my life my parents had told me that the Axiom song “A Little Ray of Sunshine ” was about me, because it was released when I was about a year old. I’ve grown up loving that song. If you haven’t heard it before, look it up, it is such a beautiful sentiment.

So Sparkles I am. I think it is a name that still fits, all these years down the track, because I genuinely am a optimistic person whom likes to spread cheer. Sparkles was also the name of a famous female clown, here in Melbourne. I honestly don’t mind sharing the nickname with her.

Russell tells me that I am a powerful source for positivity but honestly it is hard not to be happy when I am blessed with a number of very good people 🙏 ❤ in my life like him. I think a lot of people I’ve worked with in mental health would agree Sparkles would describe my attitude to life and that I spread cheer to the clients I worked with.

Like all good sparkly people I love wearing bling and dressing up. No I don’t dress as a clown, but I do like to sparkle particularly when I am around my loved one’s.

I think my nephews and niece’s would say I have always been positive and loving towards them. I remember Grace saying that I mean a lot to them because I always put other people before myself. They call me Aunty Kaye aka Sparkles. They too are fond of my positivity and optimism ✨.

I believe that we all have the ability to ✨ Sparkle in our lives. Look for the silver lining in our lives and be positive and grateful 🙏 for what God has provided us with. Be Kind to ourselves and don’t judge ourselves or others. Celebrate out small successes in life. Have a good laugh and have a sense of humour where we can laugh at ourselves first and foremost.

Do what Sparkles would do and in the immortal words of Monty Python Life of Brian., ” Always Look On Tbe Bright Side Of Life”

Following on from my last post about every cloud having a silver lining, I also believe in looking for the good in people and in situations in my life.

It would be very easy for me with my mental health issues to be negative and pessimistic about life, but I steadfastly refuse to think that way and I go out of my way to be optimistic and a positive force for good in my life. This often means I butt heads with my mother, whom is a pessimist and never sees things from my positive perspective. She is negative towards me no matter what I do in my life, so I have learned the hard way, not to take on board her attitude and live my life in my optimistic happy, positive way.

My friends see me as a strong positive force and Russell in particular, is always saying that I am a strong, positive force of nature that he finds powerful. I consciously look for the good in people and always do find it. I strongly believe that if we look for the good in things, that is what we will find, and that if we look for the bad and negative, then we will find that too. This bring the case isn’t it more fulfilling and pleasurable to see the good in life and strive to find it. Far more bearable and positive than constantly being disappointed with life because you only see bad and horrible occurrences. My specialists also see me as a positive person who thrives through being optimistic.

I am basically a happy person, whom is content with her life and wealthy and blessed in the quality of friendships and relationships with others. I am genuinely grateful for what God has provided me with. Over the past year a long term friendship ended with someone I really cared for, who could not see how her negativity and pessimistic attitude were causing her all sorts of trouble. She resented my optimistic attitide and reaped a lot of heartache for those who were trying to care for her. In the end her negative attitude was so nasty I walked away. She constantly was looking for the bad in everything and being surprised when she found it.

Ive learned the hard way to associate with people with positive and good intentions, as it makes life richer and more fulfilling. If you are a optimistic person like me, listen 🎶 to your gut intsincts. If someone makes you feel good and has good intentions, your gut instincts feel like floating on a breeze that means you are on the same wavelength if someone make your gut muscles tense and your chest constrict be wary, with that type of person, as their lower frequency negativity will clash with your optimism. I have learned the hard way that you can’t change a negative, pessimistic person to become positive and optimistic like yourself. You can’t always avoid this type of person, but you can change how you deal with them. Don’t give a lot of your time and energy to them, limit it and mine for good. The good people in your life are priceless ❤. Dedicate your time and energy to the good people and your life will grow more positive and fulfilling than you could ever imagine.

Life can be beautiful if we look for the good in everything……..

Yes it is true. Every cloud does have a silver lining. This is not only my favourite proverb, it could very well be the motto for my life.

Probably the most significant silver lining in my life has been the absolutely wonderful friendship I have with Russell which developed after I walked away from an unhealthy, disastrous marriage. I was in total mourning after the break up of my marriage when Russell, whom previously had been one of my ex husbands friends became my greatest friend and supporter. It really took me by surprise how easily we bonded and became close. Russell would have to be the most gracious gentleman I have ever met and I am just so lucky to have such a beautiful truly Christian man in my life. Russell is the type of person whom is always there for you and is polite and supportive. Yes, he is the complete package, attractive and genuinely caring and respectful. Unfortunately God only made one of Russell, be nice if he made a few more.

My beautiful angel lady Susanna is another example of a silver lining. We met at the same workplace, where we were both bullied. Susanna has been in my life for about 12 years, and is battling cancer. She is amazingly positive about life and the most beautiful, generous, gracious compassionate person I have ever met. Yes Susanna, you were the best social worker I have met, you definitely have empathy and that is such a rare quality

Susanna too loves Russell and the both of them have guided me over the past 8 months of a long term friendship ending, which had turned toxic for me.

The absolute blessing and silver lining there has been the two new friends I made during my recent hospital stay. Felicity and Pat. You both made my hospitalisation a pleasure. Felicity you are beautiful and genuinely have a wonderful sense of humour. You make me smile and laugh. Pat, you and I share a similar knowledge and interest in music and I hope one day we both get to interview Neil Finn. You guys are definitely my most recent example of a silver lining in my life.

As I look back over my childhood there are probably many examples of silver lining, but I think the biggest was getting to go to Strathmore Secondary College, where my love for writing was fostered and led me to tertiary study.

It has definitely been a silver lining to start writing ✍ a blog, as I feel I have finally found my voice and hope to do more writing for my blog on many varied interests

This silver lining is only the beginning………

Last week I spoke about being kind to yourself and not beat yourself up other things you can’t change. Sometimes I need to listen to my own advice. I am more blessed than I realise.

Yesterday I received some wonderful news that I am going to be a great Aunty for the first time. I am ecstatic and deliriously happy for my niece, but after a few hours I found myself lamenting the fact that I am childless and always will be. Most of the time I live quite peacefully with that fact. I married too old and then had fertility issues, making that impossible for me.

I am genuinely happy for my niece and know that I will ❤ love and cherish her child dearly. I am blessed that I have wonderful relationships with all my nephews and nieces.

I didn’t stay in my negative state very long, and am blessed with wonderful and supportive friends whom only think the best of me. I woke up to the fact that I was upset over factors I have no control over and realised yet again that I have been put on this earth to be a loving, empathic and compassionate person to those people God has brought into my life.

I am normally a happy person and nothing keeps me down for very long. If there is anything I have learned about myself it is that I am extremely resilient. I bounce back quickly. A few months ago I experienced a return of my mental health issues after a friendship had turned toxic. I was blessed in hospital because I made two new friends that have blossomed into wonderful relationships.

I know that I am on this earth for a reason, something about mental illness being better understood and to be positive, happy and loving.

In only a few hours I am feeling so much better. So what, if I don’t have a child of my own, my life is so rich and meaningful in other ways. My nieces and nephews have an Aunty whom adores them, and I have fulfilling friendships with a lot of people.

I have started to write my blog, to bring a positive voice in a world that is just too negative at times. To be honest I have much to be happy about and writing brings me pure pleasure. If I can bring a little pleasure or kindness to my readers then my blog has done its job.

I know one thing for sure. My nieces baby is going to grow up very loved by its great Aunty and I intend to be a positive and good one. To Grace and Chris, this is wonderful news and may God bless you, your child will be loved by all. I can’t wait to meet your special little human.I am so happy and this means good things ahead. God does exist, he brings little miracles into the world.

It I cant be a mother myself I will be a Great Aunty. Just you wait and see.

Today I feel guided to write this particularly after having a conversation with a friend I made during my recent time in a private hospital.

I have had mental health issues for the majority of my adult life and used my experience of mental health issues to work in a career where my focus was to help other’s whom also had such issues.

Admittedly I had to grow and learn a lot from life to then be able to help others. It took me on a journey, that has been windy, at times unexpected and ultimately very fulfilling. I have gained a lot of wisdom and a sense of self worth thriughout my journey and I certainly have met a lot of interesting people and had interesting experiences too.

The main lesson I have learned is that people whom experience a lot of anxiety, depression and other mental health issues are often suffering and don’t know how to be kind to themselves. I have met many people that I have counselled whom did not have the ability to be kind and gentle with themselves and would emotionally beat themselves up over things that were beyond their control.

I learned the hard way that if I wanted to be kind and empathic to others I first had to practice a little self love and be kind and empathic towards me first and foremost. This isn’t easy when the whole world seems to be telling you how bad and awful you are. It takes time and a lot of patience to learn to be kind to yourself. It took me about 5 years of having mental health issues for me to wake up to the fact that I could change the way I felt by believing I was a person whom had value and self worth and wanted to give back to the world the love some very special people had shown me. Maybe, just maybe I wasn’t such a bad person. Maybe just maybe if I show a little self belief, people would believe in me. Guess what? It worked.

By learning that I was a worthwhile person, and learning to think kindly of myself, my life began to grow and change and in time I was able to show my love and empathy to those around me who needed it. It’s not always easy. At times it is bloody hard, but it is at those most trying of times that we must stop and think and consciously change our thought patterns to be a little more kind and positive to ourselves.

This has the power to start healing and change our lives for the better. Bad thoughts begone. You ain’t going to get me down no more. Tell yourself you are a good worthwhile person of value and a little sunshine will come into your life.

I guarantee it works. Try it.